Rude Parrot – Christmas Joke

Phrasal verbs & bird sounds:

to ‘clean up’

fed up (to be fed up )

threw up (to throw up, 2 meanings)

stepped out (To step out)

spoke-up (to speak up)

to yell (more human than bird)

to squawk ( try saying the word in different tones)

to peep

It’s the day after Christmas Day, the 26^th December.

A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary.

Every word out of the bird’s mouth was rude, obnoxious and full of profanity. John tried and tried to change the bird’s attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to ‘clean up’ the bird’s vocabulary.

Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot.  The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even more rude.  John, in desperation, threw up his hand, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer. For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute.

Fearing that he’d hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer.. The parrot calmly stepped out onto John’s outstretched arm and said  “I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I’m sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior.”

John was shocked at the change in the bird’s attitude.

As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird spoke-up, very softly,

“May I ask “what did the turkey do?”

Questions:

1. Explain the contraction – he’d =

2. What type of language is – “I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I’m sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behaviour.”

Why is it used ?

3. Where is the punch-line in this joke? What’s the best way to say it?

4. What does “he was about to ask” mean?

Exercise:

Please use the following words in the sentences below: Pay attention to tense

a gift, a bad attitude, obnoxious, profanity, to shake, to grab, to hurt, to offend, to be remorseful, transgressions

1. Jose Mourinho was absolutely ______________ in the post match press conference.
2. Television stations in the UK are not allowing to broadcast any _______________ before 9pm.
3. I got a fantastic _______ in this year’s secret Santa.
4. In the end she was fired! She had _________________
5. FIFA have been in the news recently over many strange ________________ within the organisation.
6. I’ll meet you at 9pm tonight ! I just need to run home, _______ my bag and get a taxi there.
7. The lyrics to John Lennon’s song “Jealous Guy”  – “I didn’t mean to ________ you, I’m sorry that I made you cry”. It sounds like he was very ________________ .
8. The instructions on the bottle say “________ before use”

Exercise:

Create new sentences using the 5 phrasal verbs below:

to clean up

to be fed up

to throw up (2 meanings)

to step out

to speak up